What drives you, Jody?

I am a writer, coach and founder of Gateway Women, an organisation to support, empower and inspire childfree women to live fertile, passionate, meaningful lives.

So many women are coming to the end of their fertile lives in their late 30s and early 40s and are facing the very real possibility that they won’t be mothers. It’s a very dark and private space, full of anguish and I’ve named it ‘the tunnel.’ When I was in my mid-40’s and fully accepted that I was never going to be a mother, I entered a deep and transformational grieving process for what I call ‘the life unlived.’ Coming out the other side, I realised that I’d learned something profound that I wanted to share with other women.

One of the key realisations for me was that all the archetypal ‘mothering’ love that I’d been keeping in reserve for my future family needed to be ‘given back’ for my life to feel truly meaningful. Out of this was born a book I’ve co-authored called ‘The 6 Moods of Success’ which is being published by Harper Collins later this year, my ongoing training to be a psychotherapist, and Gateway Women.

What change do you bring about and how are you doing it?

There are 3 types of change Gateway Women seeks to bring about:

Gateway Women supports women who are currently in ‘the tunnel’ (over 35 and getting increasingly frantic about having a family). The tunnel seems to arrive out of nowhere and puts a woman under hideous pressure to make sure she doesn’t ‘screw up’ and blow her last chance of having a family. This stress puts a huge strain on her career, relationships and wellbeing, yet nobody’s willing to discuss what’s really going on. If she does try to express her panic she’ll usually be swamped with ‘miracle baby’ stories and told to think positively and, basically, to stop whingeing. There’s such a taboo about not having children that no-one’s actually prepared to talk openly about it, and so women get no support.  Not any more – we’re starting a Gateway Women’s Group in central London shortly with more planned. I’m also coaching individuals and will be giving a talk at B.Hive http://gateway-women.com/events/ in Covent Garden on 7 June at 1pm.

Gateway Women inspires childfree women to live fertile passionate lives. The fact is that there is light at the end of the tunnel (and it’s not always an oncoming train!) as my experience proves.  The key process is to work through the grief for ‘the unlived life’ to clear a path for a woman to literally ‘see’ her future again. We’re going to be running a Reignite! workshop this summer to facilitate a kick-off of this transformational process in a safe and fun environment.

Gateway Women empowers childfree women to get off the sofa, leave the cat at home and get involved in the culture again by dismantling the social taboo around being childfree and reframing it as an acceptable life-stage or life-choice. We live in a time of profound change, and childfree woman can be a vital part of making this world a better place for the next generation to inherit – the fact that it’s not our biological generation is irrelevant – mothering energy is generous, compassionate and hardworking.  Gateway Women is actively seeking childfree women in the public eye to ‘come out’ as childfree. At the moment, women with children are happy to be identified as mothers, whilst childfree women rarely mention it and, if they do, often get hammered for it. We aim to change this.

What are your top 3 Tips to a woman who, like you, tries to raise awareness or change people's behaviour?

- Be prepared to be inspiring! Sometimes, it can be hard as women to claim our public role and to feel comfortable in the spotlight. However by turning it around and thinking to ourselves ‘someone out there needs me to inspire them today’ you can transform your fear of being seen into a way of being of service

- Authenticity rocks! Show up as your vulnerable, unique self. Dropping the mask is a powerful way to connect and one that women instinctively respond to. It’s scary but there’s a power there that trumps looking like you have it all together.

- Be aware that in order to lead, you’ll have to step out of your comfort zone. And that whilst some people will admire you for that, others will project their own fears onto you and give you a hard time for daring to be audacious.  Listen for the wisdom in their criticism, course-correct if necessary but keep going.  And make sure to surround yourself with mentors, coaches and peers that support and challenge you in helpful ways!

What networks work best for you?

Informal face-to-face women’s networks like B.Hive www.bhive.co – I love the way that women open up and collaborate so naturally in a women’s only environment, and the way that they feel totally at ease moving between being powerfully switched-on and proactive to being relaxed, open and receiving.

Social media – particularly Twitter – which is a great way to really identify and engage with thought leaders and other social entrepreneurs. People are amazingly generous with their contacts and content on Twitter.

A community of likeminded social entrepreneurs like those that collect around Nick Williams organisation Inspired Entrepreneur and John Williams’ Scanners Night. www.scannercentral.co.uk

Which female social innovator would you particularly recommend our readers to look at/be inspired from?

Camila Batmanghelidjh, the Founder of Kids Company, has been a huge influence on me. She’s a childfree woman with a heart as big they come and Kids Company is currently helping to parent approximately 14,000 kids in Central London. Kids Company’s believes in ‘love first’ and with that policy it’s turning around the lives of families that society often thinks are beyond help. In 2007 Kids Company was awarded the Liberty and JUSTICE Human Rights Award, and in 2010 they were selected as a ‘Child Poverty Champion’ by the End Child Poverty project for their track record in enabling children to achieve their full potential.

I’m a volunteer mentor for Kids Company and would urge anyone in London to support this remarkable, inspiring and happy organisation.

Camilla proves that you don’t have to be a mother to make the world a better place.

Contact Jody Day | Gateway Women | Twitter @gatewaywomen